{Issue 11} When the Grass is Greener
“You can’t lose what you never had,” a business coach once told me after I didn’t get a project I had my hopes set on. It was the kind of job that felt meant for me—an emotional match, not just a logistical one. A couple in Poway with two young daughters, struggling to keep peace in a too-tight space. I knew I could help them. But somewhere along the way, they chose not to move forward.
I understood what my mentor was trying to say: Let it go. It was never yours.
But the words rang hollow. It did feel like a loss. And it hurt just the same.
The truth is, I’ve mourned many things I never technically “had.” I’ve mourned not becoming a mother—though that grief turned out to be premature. I’ve mourned not being “farther along” by now. I’ve mourned lost relationships and relationships with my family that never became what I wanted them to be. And yet, I show up every day for people chasing dreams that haven’t happened yet.
When clients come to me, it’s often because something about their space doesn’t sit right. Sometimes they can’t articulate it. Other times, they feel it deeply. During consultations, they sometimes ask: “Should I really do this?” And I’ll admit—part of me wants to say: “Save your money. It’s just a house. If the roof doesn’t leak and the bathroom works, you’re fine. Put it in a 401k and let compound interest handle the rest.”
For some, that’s exactly the right advice.
But for others—it’s not enough. I see it in their faces. I hear it in the quiet before they answer. They’re not just asking about square footage or finishes. They’re asking whether they should pursue something more.
With these clients — when we begin the design process together, real transformation happens. I’ve watched people I deeply respect stand just a little taller. Change their wardrobe. Hire a coach. Ask for the raise. The act of investing in themselves through space often ripples into every other part of their lives.
As it turns out, for some, had they not taken that leap they so desperately desired, they would have lost far more than they imagined. Sometimes, the grass is greener on the other side.
Have a dream you wish to see realized? Book a consultation with me to learn more.
As Always…
Your Architect,
Lina
